Wednesday, September 23, 2009


I am going to share with you a e-mail conversation I had with my former manager.



Aspiring models needed. In addition to informational booths and demonstrations, as part of the National Safety Month celebration I am organizing a Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) fashion show. I am looking for a few models for fashion shows during the upcoming National Safety Month celebration at Campus 2 on Wednesday, June 17th from 10am to 2pm in the Campus 2 Conference Center and at Campus 1 in the 1234 Building on Monday, June 22nd from 10am to 2pm. I need the models to display the appropriate and inappropriate ways to wear various types of PPE (gloves, gowns, goggles, face sheilds[sic], masks, etc.) The fashion shows will last about 5-10 minutes and are planned to run every half hour beginning at 10:15am.

It would wonderful if any of you could volunteer some of your time between 10:15am and 2:00pm to help educate and entertain your staff at Campus 1 or 2. If you could also recommend or delegate other staff members to help in the celebration that would be great too!! If you could show up in the Conference Center or 1234 Building (report to me) at 10 minutes after the hour (10:10am, 11:10am, 12:10am 1:10am or 40 minutes after the hour 10:40am, 11:40am, 12:40am 1:40am) that would be great. You only need to bring yourself, I will supply the PPE for all the models. I will asking the audience questions about what the PPE you are modeling is appropriate for. I also plan to introduce you (so if you want to make up a model name for yourself, feel free and I will introduce you as such). Please e-mail me or call me at (55555) with your comittment or questions. Thanks for your help.

Seriously... A fashion show... She even referred to it as a celebration. Who thinks this stuff up? I can see it now. Some highly paid executive is sitting in their leather chair that is strategically perforated for proper air flow thinking "We need to do something with our excess budget...I know, we'll have a fashion show, and then we will all wear pink and have a tea party."

It's good to know that some nimrod with an ass that is nice and cool is making these decisions that don't pertain to the staff at all. Well some of the staff will go. But these are the same hopelessly loyal people who also went to every high school football game for 3 years after they graduated. And not to pick up chicks...

My reply:

I want my model name to be "Hans Big-gloved" And I will wear a full Tyvek suite, Gas mask, and a hard had that was so generously gifted to me from the Fire Dept. I just need a pair of size 12 knee high rubber boots and some knee pads. I can probably muster up some body armor and reflective clothing. I feel that should cover the minimum PPE requirements for invasive procedures such as doing blood glucose checks and assessing lung sounds...


But on a serious note..... no...

Needless to say I was not in the fashion show.


  1. You are a sad, hairy little man, who needs to prrof read prior to posting. . . However, I have yet to decide which is worse, your aimless bitch fest or the fact that I am bored enough to sit and read it and pick out your spelling errors. . . I'll flip a coin and get back to you. . .

  2. And it has me listed as anonymous, WTF? How do I take credit for this posting? Do I have to create another profile with another password that I will forget and have to change each time I log on to make fun of you? Lame. . . However, since I am a Cunning Linguist, I'm sure you know who is posting on your blog. . .