Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Removing the Republican Party off of Life Support


Dear RIght Wing Crackpots

I supported you for years, I have always enjoyed the idea of a lean government with an appreciation for personal freedoms. When the Tea Party came around, I believed in the message, I believed in Americans taking the governmental focus away from lobbyists and big money and making it about the citizens again. It wasn't long before that movement and the political party got over run by extremists that are the likes of the American Taliban. Strict adherence to a historical story supported entirely by faith and it's related literature (the Bible), desire to control a women's reproductive choices, the fear mongering and vitriol directed at those who disagree with them that is just one step shy of inciting physical violence. And most importantly their extremists views have either forced good Republicans out of office, or made those in office share their views in the public eye in order to keep their jobs. 

For the last and final time. Your god is not real, evolution is real, so stop shoving your non-existent puppet master up my ass every time I read about the 2012 election. Abortion is none of the governments business, and if two dudes want to be in a relationship and receive the same tax benefits as a married couple, who gives a shit? I don't see how restricting any of these things increases freedom, but I do see how it mandates people live the Christian lifestyle that you so boldly want to force on all of us. 

Right now the extremists would call me a filthy socialist anti-American terrorist. But let me lay this out really clearly for all of you, because quite frankly I don't care what you think. Here are my opinions, you decide where I fall in your mind, because the titles of this two party system have led to nothing but a wide divide in this government that has managed to accomplish nothing. 

Gun control: Against it, restricting liberty has not shown to reduce crime. Data has shown it for years, end of discussion. 

Abortion: I am not pro-choice, I am straight up pro-abortion. Too many kids are born to mothers who are unwilling or unable to raise them. They then become a burden on the taxpayers. Allow easy and legal access to abortion without the mandated "guilt ultrasounds". See that respects freedoms, and is fiscally responsible, suck on that Paul Ryan. 

Gay Marriage: If I hear the word abomination one more time my head may explode. For the last time, get your superstition out of my government. All your strict adherence to the bible tells me is that you are too stupid, scared, or lazy to make decisions based on your world experiences. Besides the references to homosexuality in the Bible are questionable at best. And this is operating under the premise that the stories in the Bible are real to begin with.  A friend of mine who is a devout Christian said that he personally does not agree with gay marriage, but he does realize that his church isn't the government, and not everyone shares his views. This is the most enlightened approach to this subject I have heard so far. For crying out loud, let gays get married, their homes will probably look better than ours anyway. 

Immigration: The system is broken, however illegal is illegal. Amnesty is a bad idea, I do not believe in rewarding those who break the law. Do I have the solution? Nope, and I don't claim to. But I am at least willing to talk about it without breaking the debate down into partisan name calling. 

Drug laws: I am in support of the regulation of most controlled substances. I have first hand witnessed the effects of these substances, and they do destroy people. And lets face it, most drug users never get caught, so I can reasonable say that it is the drug itself, not the fallout from the legal system that deregulation would prevent. 

The Economy: Hell if I know, but all I know is we seemed to be doing fine when the commercial and investment banks were split. A piece of legislation that went into effect as a protection after the Great Depression. It seems as if the American public never learns. 

The Death Penalty: Firing squads are much less expensive.

National Defense: We spend a ton of money on it. But we got leveraged into that position by the rest of the world. We have somehow assumed the default role of "World Police" while other countries "support" us by sending a case of ammunition and a few soldiers. However I do believe in solidly wiping any country off the map when they become an active aggressor towards us. However not in this new sensitive post-Vietnam war style, in the "George Washington crossing the Delaware river at night on Christmas and kill you in your sleep style". 

Healthcare: There is a problem with healthcare this country. I am not sure the new laws are the way to fix it, as a matter of fact, I am pretty sure they are not. I do however think that some regulation needs to exist in areas where it hasn’t in the past. Lets look as the drug companies and the frivolous lawsuits. The other crisis is too many people receive healthcare. There is no reason the tax payers should be providing life extending treatment to chronic drug addicts and people unwilling to take interest in their own care. If your not interested in managing your life, than I am not either. That being said, there is a segment who need care and can not afford it. Again, I do not claim to have the answers, but I am willing to discuss it. Which is more that you can say about the asshats we keep employed making these legislative decisions. 

I am going to commit the absolute worst sin a Republican can commit. I am changing my political party on my voter registration. I have dabbled in Libertarian, and Independent, but thats not a strong enough message. I believe the Republican party is dying, it is a matter of time before the cancer of religious extremism does them in. And I want to do everything in my power to speed up that process. Think of it as a political mercy killing. The sensible conservative party has become demented, very expensive to keep alive, a huge burden to it's family members, and is shitting it's bed every night about the time the nightly news comes on. It is time to remove it from the ventilator, and maybe hold a pillow over it's face if needed. Although I do not support President Obama and many of the decisions he has made, I don't support the Republicans about as much. I am therefore changing my party to Democratic. 

Don't cry, when things get better I will come back. But I am trying to send a message by shrinking the numbers as much as I can. You can't turn around without hearing how much your vote matters. That may or may not be total bullshit. But I can imagine that the number of registered voters surely matters to a political party in an election year. 

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Holy Crap

Holy crap guys! I just realized that I haven't posted on here in two years. I am busier than ever with life. I have decided to finish my undergraduate work and attempt to get into a medical school. And I have transferred to work in an Emergency Department. My days working in the field are pretty much gone. I miss it, but I don't miss the political crap I had to deal with due to the nature of working as a volunteer in an EMS/Law Enforcement agency. The plus side, is the Emergency Department has given me many more great stories, and I have learned so much more in the last year than I have in the last 8 years of working in the hospital on the med/surg floors. I will try to be better, I promise.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The best opening line ever. June 1st, 2008

At work when we get a patient admitted I will read through the patient care report that the paramedcs write. And last night I think I found the most epic opening ever. The patient was a female who was drunk to the point of no return. The first sentence simply said “Patient was found on a party bus.” Just for a moment think about how great your night must have been up until that point. She was certainly having much more fun that the patient that was “Found spread over the hood of a GMC Yukon”.



It’s the simple things that keep me amused.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Surgery 2

Well.... It's done. Overall the surgery went smoothly, the tumor is out, and they were able to reattach the bone and sew my ass up. That's great. However you get a totally different perspective of healthcare from being the patient. That being said I have had some really good experiences and some not so good ones. I don't even remember the post-op recovery period. I do however remember being moved to the ICU. The day nurse I had on the day of surgery was great. She was very helpful to me and my family. Pain control was excellent. Overall a great A+ experience. My night nurse however started out strong, but as time went on really couldn't give a shit. She was short with my wife, which I didn't appreciate. But the most infuriating part was the approximately 7 hour gap in pain medication the day after surgery.

Now please understand me here. I am not one of those people trying to get drugs. I haven't ever really been on pain meds until this experience. However, imagine this. You have been laying face down for a four hour surgery. They cut through your skin, and some of the most dense muscle in your body. Then they saw off the rear portion of two of your vertabrae, open the dura, and cut out a nerve root, slowly slice off a tumor, and reseal your dura, screw your bone back on, and then sew up the muscle of your lower back, and stich the skin. That muscle contracts every time you do anything. Even a simple cough causes pretty siginficant pain. And now imagine that 20 short hours after this, all of your pain meds have been discontinued because this nurse had the forsight or the willingness to simply change an order in a computer, or even enter the room when you asked for help. Unacceptable. I guess I simply wasn't exciting enough for this critical care nurse.

Fortunately that day I was transferred to telemetry. The nurse there was someone I had known for quite a while. She was great, the night nurse was great, and then I was lucky enough to have her the next day. I spent three days on tele, and then was discharged.

The Neurosurgeon, Internal Medicine doc, and Cardiologist I saw while inpatient were all great. I am lucky in the respect that I work with my Internal Medicine doctor. So when this all started I had the luck of picking the Neurosurgeon. The Cardiologist was a random assignment as far as I was concerned. But I got lucky, and he is a good guy.

More people than I expected came to see me, and I heard from just about everyone I knew on the internet. I am very thankful for all the support from my friends. And for God's sake my wife. That poor woman, I have been such a pain in her ass. Just ask her about it.

Overall I am home, and recovering. All things at this point are looking good. I am able to walk fine, albeit slow at times. I am not on anything for pain, and the incision is looking good. If I had to put a number to it I would say I am 98& independant. I am still stuck with lifting restrictions however. So we follow up with the Neurosurgeon and he wants to scan the rest of my back and brain. So until then...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Surgery 1

Well for those of you that don't know already I will be having a surgery August 5th. Fortunately and Unfortunately the surgery will be at the hospital I work at. Three months of chronic lower back pain ultimately led to an MRI of the lumbar spine being done. Those images revealed a 2cm tumor in the spine. Surgery should be quick and easy. Hopefully I'll get some wicked bad ass tumor pictures to put up here. So far things seem to be going pretty smoothly, aside from the original back pain, but we will all have a nice sigh of relief after the pathology results come back. A week or so in the hospital, and some out patient physical therapy and hopefully I will be as good as new. Plus I will get a shiny new airport security pass to go with some new hardware. The plus side is I will have some free time at home to write more. I really haven't been as current with this site as I would like to be. Maybe I will piece together some articles or some kind of educational material. Or maybe I will be doing some mad rantings. Whatever the case, hopefully I will put some good stuff up.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Top tweets.

I just thought to myself, I haven't posted anything on my blog in a long time. I was thinking of something good to put up. But I drew a blank. Lifes kinda just chugging along, and nothing really exciting has happened lately worth writing. So I figured I would do what all good bloggers do. Take a collection of their "micro blogs" (i.e. tweets) and post them in one large post. So here we go. Feel free to plunge into my warped mind, or feel free to follow me on twitter (mace85).

When everything in a hospital beeps, all the time. How do you know which beeps are important? Is my pt in asystole or is my popcorn done?
8:48 AM Dec 4th, 2009 via UberTwitter

I am so happy, sunshine and roses are coming out of my ass. No really. PEOPLE ARE AWESOME !!!
7:04 AM Dec 4th, 2009 via UberTwitter

Today just feels like a .45acp kinda day... http://tweetphoto.com/5512054
12:48 PM Nov 28th, 2009 via UberTwitter

Absolutely stoked to hear that Vltor is going to release the BREN TEN !! Gotta get me one. In a Galco Miami Classic :-) Don Johnson anyone ?
9:50 AM Nov 27th, 2009 via UberTwitter

Walking into work a lady stops me to ask where the hospital is. Not even clocked in and getting asked dumb questions. I am screwed today.
8:04 AM Nov 27th, 2009 via UberTwitter

Ok. I swear for Educ. Reasons only. Does anyone have the pic of the meth user who is A&OX4 with his abdomen open in his yard?
6:21 PM Nov 25th, 2009 via UberTwitter

Steve West is a sexy bitch... Just saying... It had to be said...
12:02 PM Nov 25th, 2009 via UberTwitter

You know, under these clothes, I am completely naked....
10:33 AM Nov 23rd, 2009 via UberTwitter

I have a recycle bin by my desk that has a sign on it saying "do not use until program is in effect" with a bag over it. WTF?
8:01 AM Nov 23rd, 2009 via UberTwitter

New rule: Females over the age of 14 aren't allowed to talk about "texting a boy".
7:58 AM Nov 13th, 2009 via UberTwitter

"I am so full of happiness some sneaks out my butt-hole." If you have to ask you have no idea...
11:27 PM Nov 8th, 2009 via web

And of course my favorite series of tweets...

Health tip: Afraid of cavities? Wrap your teeth in aluminum foil and feel free to enjoy all the halloween candy you want!
1,257,013,764,000.00 via web

Health tip: Men afraid of catching an STD? Tie a loop of dental floss around your genitals tightly, leave for 4 days. 95% decrease in STD's
1,256,966,726,000.00 via web

Health tip: Hemmorrhoids ruining your drawers? Take some dry ice to the rectum. It's cooling and cauterizes those pesky bleeders!
1,256,951,072,000.00 via web

Health tip: Good news diabetics. You have to give up sugar. But you can drink as much beer as you want. Beer has no sugar!
1,256,943,799,000.00 via Seesmic
Hope everyone out there is finding my health tips fun and useful...
3:38 PM Oct 30th, 2009 via Seesmic

Health tip: Just had a stroke? Do what the pro's do. Take some Aspirin cut into your femoral artery and fish the clot out with a pipe snake
3:32 PM Oct 30th, 2009 via Seesmic

Health tip: Worried about catching H1N1? Take a lesson from contractors. Seal your mouth and nose with duct tape. No more airborne viruses!
2:52 PM Oct 30th, 2009 via web

Health tip: Constipated? Try foaming drain cleaner. Not only does it clear the blockage, but it cleans the walls of the pipes as well.
7:53 AM Oct 30th, 2009 via web

Todays health tip: Keep your eyes clean. Bleach removes that pesky film from your cornea.
6:09 AM Oct 30th, 2009 via web

Todays health tip: Keep your eyes clean. Bleach removes that pesky film from your cornea. And it sanitizes!!!
6:09 AM Oct 30th, 2009 via web

Friday, April 9, 2010

Application submitted to our group

We just got a message from a woman who lives across the country from our great state. She wants to join our VOLUNTEER EMS group. She wanted to know if we would pay for her travel expenses and lodging. Here is my reply (the names have been changed to protect the ignorant):

Dear Ma'am

We at the Medical Rescue Team are very greatful for your application. Normally we do pay for travel and lodging expenses. Our current transportation contractor runs private Learjets out of Scottsdale Municipal Airport. Flights are scheduled at your convenience and you will find a fully stocked bar and enjoy in cabin wireless internet and television. A meal will be provided. This month is our surf and turf special. A 20 ounce prime rib with a fresh Maine Lobster with a fully stocked Oyster bar. Our aircraft is also equipped with a stage and brass pole. We normally provide dancers for in flight entertainment. But seeing as how you are a woman, we aren't able to provide entertainment. Our male dancing service is currently in a contract dispute. However if you are into women we may be able to work something out.

Our lodging is at the "Expensive hotel" in "Here". It is in the heart of the city and near the clubs and shopping. Will provide a car and driver in order to make your transportation as effortless as possible. The hotel is a five star resort with excellent dining options. If that doesn't meet your lodging needs we will gladly put move your accomidations to the "More expensive hotel". We also offer spa services. Nothing feels better after a day of sweating your sack off in 122 degree heat, dealing with the best drunks that "Insert recreational area of choice here" has to offer, than a massage and facial. After all hard work in the desert is no reason to let your pores get clogged.

When you show up to your job site, you will be met with your service vehicle. We are currently using Hummer H1's outfitted with LED warning lights, 200 Watt sirens, turbo chargers, F.L.I.R., and a full set of ALS equipment. We use computerized charting and wirelessly transmit the data to responding transport units and the hospital. All of your equipment will be provided free of charge, and you will have 2 assistants on scene.

We at the Medical Rescue Team eagerly await your arrival. And welcome to the team.


Sincerely
Me.


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